When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi Book Review — Tobechukwu Udeigbo
The first few pages prepared us for the emotionally charged content of the book. The book is dedicated to Cady, Paul’s daughter; forwarded by Abraham Verghese, a man who met Paul after his death; the prologue and two parts of the book written by Paul; and concluded in a teary-eyed epilogue by his wife, Lucy.
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Dr. Paul Kalanithi, a trained neurosurgeon, wrote about himself navigating between life and death, between being a doctor and a patient, and between being an adoring father and an absent one. Paul quickly introduced us to the most important people in his life in Part 1 of the book — -his parents, siblings, friends, past lovers, and even his grandmother’s grave. He shared his first love for writing and how he had planned on becoming a writer, but life played a fast joke on him because he ended up in the profession he once loathed — medicine (Irony is the blood vein lodged in the spine of this book). He gave an enriching and captivating glimpse into his career — neurosurgery — which is an extremely sacrificing profession that should be tread on solely with fueled passion and not money. He acquainted us with his patients, his co-workers and even his personal medical scripts that churned most of his personal time. My level of respect for doctors escalated to an all time high after reading this book. I admired the personal time they sacrifice just so that another family could breath easier and another patient allocated a second chance to life.
In the second part of the book, Paul bravely wrote about the beginning of the end of his life. After his diagnosis with lung cancer (even though he never smoked — the irony again!), he and Lucy began making plans for their time ticking future. From securing their finances to running routine visits at the sperm bank in other to create new life, Paul mentally prepared himself for what was to come. He pondered a lot especially on the staggering juxtaposition of what his life has become — he was a patient at the same hospital he was a doctor and was diagnosed of cancer in the same room he diagnosed other patients. He reminded his reader of the most important thing he has grasped in the light of his terminal illness — the frailty and brevity of life. Everything he has achieved and been awarded with paled in comparison to the life he was bargaining with. His encouragement spilled through the pages as he urged his readers to “continue to strive until last breath.” It is undeniable that he was a sacrificial man who was truly called to the profession, because he sacrificed his limited time saving others, by performing enduring surgeries with his illness. Paul ended this part of the book by penning a moving father-daughter note to his beautiful daughter, Cady.
The last part of the book was written by Lucy who finished Paul’s story, explaining how he died, who shared in his last moments and where he was buried. She also reminded the readers to put life in its right perspective because “Paul confronted death — examined it, wrestled with it, accepted it — as a physician and as a patient.”
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Nothing prepared me before I read this book. It reminded me of the importance of unraveling every moment — both good and bad — as a precious gift. Time is always in motion. We are given 24 hours every day down to the millisecond and how we choose to manage that limited time is what counts at the end of our lives. For every dream lost or life missteps that happened, time is only redeemable moving forward if one is alive. This book rewired my moral code by reminding me that regrets are a complete waste of my time. It highlighted the uselessness of awards and titles — not that we should aspire to become better or aim higher, but we should not clamor for the “decorated life” at the detriment of what matters most to us — human relationships.
I am once again schooled on the unspoken contract we have all made with death when we took our first breath at birth. We were born with a destined date of arrival and time of death. We cannot beg, bribe, plead, or wail our way out of it because there are no negotiations, just immediate obedience to the call of death. As we depart from this earth leaving behind everything we have held with deep importance, we trust that our loved ones would finish our stories and share the memories we left. Like Lucy. Life is truly for the living and the best time to live is now.
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